Want me to help you land a dream client?

This is a hard email to write.

Not technically. I’m not typing using a Chinese keyboard while unicycling or anything.

I just hate talking about myself.

But there’s something I should remind you about.

Yesterday, I gave you a link to the “Quick ‘n Easy Copy Critiques” I’m doing for a tenner.

Thing is… I can help you with more than that.

Remember – this time last year I was a full-time magician.

In fact, THIS weekend last year I was at the Blackpool Magic Convention and I was first hearing about COVID, as dealers were doing fistbumps and looking like they were plotting something evil, as they constantly rubbed their hands with alcohol.

In less than a year, I not only pivoted, I got on the radar of three (yep, THREE!) “big kahuna” clients.

Even though all three were looking for a copywriter to join the team, let’s face it, as someone with NO copywriting experience…

… I wasn’t even close to being among the top applicants.

And yet, when I applied…

“Dude, are you free for a project this week? No problem if not. Either way, I wanna work with you…”

“As soon as I saw your application, I sent it to the boss with a note – ‘You gotta see this guy…’”

“I want that guy writing my emails…”

Maybe you don’t have a sales page or email sequence that could use a fresh set of eyeballs, but…

… maybe there’s a dream client that you’re desperately wanting to land…

Want me to help you with that?

Send me what you got and I’ll help make it better.

Like I say, this is a hard email for me to write.

I’m not good with compliments, so let’s even things out a little…

You’ve heard three positive quotes, so here are three times I was a complete and utter tool:

1. When I was young, I pondered the question “I wonder how long I can stand next to this electric fire?”.

Unfortunately, I chose to find out while wearing my school pants which went up in flames faster than a petrol soaked rag that Boris Yelstin and Oliver Reed had pissed on.

2. I was performing magic at a swanky, high-end gig, and everything was going well until I got to the top table, when one of the ladies dropped a napkin and, as I did the gentlemanly thing to bend over to pick it up…

… I did a rather ungentlemanly thing and let rip with the deepest, loudest fart I’ve ever summoned.

(I didn’t get rebooked)

Or, how about…

3. When I was a social worker, working in child protection, and innocently asked a 7-year-old boy, “How do you know mummy loves daddy?” and he replied, “because every Friday they go into their bedroom, lock the door and make this noise…”

… and I had to crush my foot under the chair leg to stop me from corpsing.

4. Or about that time I met Britney Spears at a celeb do and she slipped me a…

… wait a second, you’ve already had your three.

Let’s wind this up – Valentine’s day is fast approaching.

Is there a special client you want to woo?

If there is, and you think I can help…

Click here and bag one of the last few spots.

Have an awesome weekend,

John