Wanna celebrate with me? (and a new video)

A couple of things…

First off, I just reached 300 subscribers.

Your reaction to that world-shaking news (I’m waiting CNN!) is probably either:

“OMG! How did you manage to build a list while retaining your youthful looks and enchanting musk, AND without having to use FB ads or Svengali-like hypnotic techniques?”

OR…

“300? Pffft – I wouldn’t get out of bed for that many – call me when you hit four figures and become a real man!”

(My missus can be cruel at times…)

Either way, I wanna do something to celebrate the big 3-0-0.

And not just for me, but for you too.

You see, deciding to email you has been one of the best decisions I’ve made.

I know a lot of people SAY stuff like this ^^^^, but for me it’s true.

It’s why whenever I have something to offer, you’ll always get first dibs.

You know those fabulous freebies in the GOOGLE DRIVE OF AWESOMENESS!!!!?

No one else gets to see those.

Just you.

Same with my “criminally underpriced” coffee critiques…

I don’t offer them on FB or Insta…

… I give you first dibs.

(More of those coming soon Be Tee Dubs)

I only want you to realise how important you are to me…

… so you can do the same for YOUR business.

More soon, but for now…

I NEED YOU…

…R suggestions on what I should do to celebrate.

Hit reply and let me know.

Now… the second thing…

I’ve uploaded a new video about how to create a funnel for any business…

Here’s the blurb:

Funnels work. They’re a great way to solve valuable problems and build trust with your customers… WHILE GETTING PAID!

Trouble is, it seems as though some businesses don’t lend themselves well to the “funnel” model, but the truth is, you can create an ascending ladder full of offers for pretty much ANY business…

… as long as you take a different approach.

Here’s what I mean…

Also in this video I:

– Premier my revolutionary “I can’t be arsed faffing around in Canva, so I’m going to take a photo of my looking like a fool and use that as a thumbnail instead” technique (I WAS going to charge $5,000 for this, but seeing as the name kinda gives it away…)

– Mispronounce the word “Russell” – DELIBERATELY – a rather poor attempt at raising a smile.

– Brilliantly agitate the “funnels don’t work for my business” problem, so it feels more pressing and makes you feel WORSE about your life!

– Tease you with a possible solution to this problem before I wildly veer off and talk about myself for a bit (you’ll wonder how one man can be so damn selfish!)

– Blatantly admit that I used to get paid by lying to people for a living (you might wanna call the cops after hearing this)

– Answer the “how many birthdays does the average person have a year?” question once and for all (the answer may shock you… if you’re an imbecile!!!!)

– Say the words “THERE IS NO FREE OFFER!” – Egad! Did I really say this? Yes (let’s hope the Sunday papers don’t get hold of THAT quote!)

– Finally admit the truth about my four-year struggle… (you’ll need tissues for this… but only if you’ve spilled something)

– Crowbar in a desperate plug for you to sign up to my “GOOGLE DRIVE OF AWESOMENESS!!!!” (think you know what “no lube” means? Think again…)

– Reveal the price of how much a magician REALLY costs for two hours of magic (I’ll give you a clue… it’s one of these: £150, £400, or a Ginsters pasty and a foot massage)

– Berate you (mildly) for being so selfish

– Say the words “THERE IS NO FREE OFFER!” – again! (Am I mad?)

– IMPLORE you to fantasise about brides… like you are doing right now!

– Generously give wedding magicians a free idea for a killer lead magnet (did I say it was free? I did? Oh… shit, I wasted these brackets…)

– Selflessly give magicians 5 (yes, facking FIVE) benefits they can use to get more bookings (I’ve charged over £1.25 for these in the past!!!!)

– Show you the easiest way I know to GUARANTEE you’re always offering value to the client – keep this handy trick in mind and you’ll never go wrong.

…. and some (I think) more.

Here’s an RSI friendly/non-scrolling link to the video

Don’t forget… let me know how I should celebrate the big “three hundo”…

John Holt

P.S. I may not be emailing about EVERY video I upload, so if you find them useful, do me a favour and subscribe.

Not only will you be helping the environment (FACT CHECK RATING = bullshit), but it’s free and will make sure you don’t miss any future videos.