A message from the future Mahatma Gandhi:
“Wow! Look at all this awesome success I’ve had…
and to think… it ALL STARTED when I clicked on that crappy, ugly sales page John Holt made.
Can you believe I ALMOST DIDN’T CHOOSE HIM?
Man… I’d hate to see THAT version of me right now…”
You’re a sensible employer. You’ve done this before (wait… you HAVE done this before, right?). I know you’ve probably got some questions before you email me, begging me to come work with you.
“I bet you’re a bloody nightmare to work with… always mucking around… never getting any actual work done.”
Actually, no. You’re right though, I do enjoy a laugh. I find humour, sorry… “humor” to be a natural lubricant – it makes things easier. That said, copy still needs to get written, right?
I’ve been a freelancer for over 10 years now. I’m also a married father of two girls (and a very energetic dog!). I’m in the middle of a pandemic – trapped in a loud and very busy house…
I know how to get stuff done. 🙂
“You know, your writing’s OK … I guess, but I’ve got a truckload of applications from people with more experience than you…”
I know other guys have more experience and, if that’s all you’re looking for, you should probably go and hire those guys…
Still here? Good. While I don’t have the experience, I also don’t have:
Do you realise how much time you’re gonna waste teaching “experienced” guys how to do stuff properly? They’ve built bad habits. You’re going to have to go over things again… and again… and again until they get it right.
Why not make it easier by hiring a fresh pair of eyes. You know… someone like me?
“Hang on… you’re 44? Man… that’s OLD. IS every piece of copy I send you gonna need to be 72pt font just so you can read it?”
You cheeky git. If my nurse was here to dress me and change my catheter bag, I’d amble over there and shout obscenities at you. 🙂
What I love about the old school copy guys is that they’re still doing it when they’re 80. Not because they HAVE to, but because they WANT to. That’s the kind of life I want – one that makes me feel alive.
I wanna be that guy that wakes up with new hooks and angles while in a nursing home.
I’ve got YEARS left in me yet.
Note – rebrand idea – “The No (elasticated and comfortable) Pants Project”)
“There’s a lot of back-and-forth on our projects. Are you OK with criticism?”
“What do you mean by that? No, really. Tell me right this second, or I’ll come round there and ram this sales page so far up your…”
Nah, I’m good with criticism. I know from stand up comedy that it’s better to have too many ideas than too few, so I’m good with that.
As I said, I’m in this to get better at copy. That’s a process. Some days I knock it out of the park, some days not so much. Either way, I get to say that I showed up, gave it my best and learned something. I’m happy with that. 🙂
I know a lot of people SAY stuff like that, but, if you’ve checked out my blog, or seen my “Dear John on the John” series, you’ll know I actually believe this.
“What are you like working with others?”
I’ve been a magician for more than 10 years. My entire job is based on me turning up at large public events, interrupting groups of strangers, winning them over and then leaving them smiling…
… in less than 5 minutes.
Getting on with strangers is a skill I’ve spent my whole life learning, and I’m VERY good at winning people over with my charm and sophisticated personality, ya big poopy head! (only joking!) 😉😉😉
“OK… but…er… actually… there’s nothing else. you’re the man for me! how can i get in touch with you before someone else steals you out from under me?”
By clicking the magic green button.