“I’d Love To Make More Money And Close More Sales By Being Hilarious, But…I’m Not Funny! Can’t Somebody Else To Do All The Hard Work, So I Can Just Sit Back And Take All The Credit?”

As you probably suspected…YES! 🙂

34 “Ready To Fire” Comedy Ideas For Your Business That You Can Use – Today – to Make More Money, Close More Deals And Have More Fun At Work!

The market place is getting increasingly crowded.

It’s getting harder and harder to stand out from the competition.

In a world where it’s so easy to set up in business and everyone has access to the same tools…

How are YOU going to stand out…

How are YOU going to show that you’re different from everyone else…

How are YOU going to be spotted by your customers?

Because you DO need to stand out, be different and be spotted.

“If you want to tell people the truth, you’d better make them laugh or they’ll kill you!”

George Bernard Shaw

How Can Your Customers Give You Their Money If They Don't Know You're There?

Don’t get sucked into the trap of copying what everyone else is doing. Sure, it may make you feel a bit of comfort, but that comfort will go and, in its place will come struggle.

Think about it, if you’re the same as everyone else, how is the customer – YOUR customer – ever going to say:

"I want YOU!"

You’re better than that. You’re different.

No really, you are. And not in a “didn’t I see you rummaging through the bins behind Halford’s?” kinda different…

Different in a good way. And that’s a fabulous thing.

Different gives your customers a reason to choose YOU over the “I’m just going to keep copying what that guy says on his podcast…just like 3,000,000 other people on the planet – that’ll help me stand out!” crowd.

You NEED To Be Different

How can you show you’re different in a way that doesn’t need you to learn how to juggle while on fire and riding a unicycle?

Be funny.

Funny makes you different.

Funny makes you unique.

Funny gives you the edge.

If you’re funny:

* Customers will feel that they know you better – customers “get” you because you give them something to “get”. Customers who “get” you, PAY YOU!
* People will naturally want to spend more time with you – everyone loves people who make them feel good – and that will be YOU!
* Your content and ideas are more likely to be read – giving you more chance to get them to fall in love with you.
* People are more likely to share your ideas – meaning more eyeballs on your work with no extra effort.
* You’ll be far more approachable – customers won’t have any hesitation saying “Hi! I was just wondering if you could help me…“.
* People will forgive the fact that you don’t have a sixth bullet point.

“OK, so being funny is a good thing. I get it. So what? I’m not really interested in learning HOW to be funny. I just want my customers to THINK I'm funny…”

You’re in luck!

I thought I might be…

Here’s the good news…

You Don’t Have To Be Funny To Actually BE Funny!


I can do it for you.

“Hang on, this sounds expensive. I’m just gonna scroll down to the bottom and see how much this is going to cost me…”

Fair enough. I’ll wait.

Surprised? I thought you would be. That’s why you came back to this bit.

There is no pant wettingly scary cost requiring you to sell Grandma’s last working kidney to make just one of the 14 “easy” payments.

Just a quick, easy and painless solution to the problem:

“How Can I Be Funny So That My Customers Love Me…RIGHT NOW?”


What you need are some quick and easy wins – simple things YOU can do – NOW – to inject more humour and fun into your business – things that will make your customers love you and want to BUY YOUR STUFF!

You don’t want to spend time learning how to be funny, you just want to be funny!

The One Thing You Need To Be Funny

To have people think, “my…isn’t he a rather funny fellow?” as you walk past doesn’t take years of writing, performing and struggling on stage, dying a death every single night.

It CAN, but it doesn’t HAVE to.

You could just open this book, grab an idea and use that instead.

This book will make you funny…without any of the flop sweat and nervy shakes.

I’ve done all the hard work for you. All you have to do is pick one, two or 17 of the ideas and put them into action.

That’s it.

  2. IT’S EASY

Just tweak the templates and ideas to suit your own business and you’re ready to rock and roll!

“Wait a second...who the hell is John Holt anyway? You’re not that reggae singer who died in 2014, are you?”

No, I’m an award-winning comedian and magician. I do card tricks and make drunk people laugh for a living.

I’m not totally shit at it, though I should probably try and convince you using other people’s words, rather than my own:


“John didn’t just astound our guests with his AMAZING magic tricks but also made everyone LAUGH, GIGGLE and SMILE with his brilliant one-liners and humour.”

comedy sales page
Here's a photo of me holding a microphone in a public place, just to break the text up a little bit.

See? Not totally shit.

Recently, I’ve started using my comedy skills to help other people add humour to their work – in speeches, presentations, emails, webpages and passive-aggressive notes to their neighbour about their cats leaky bottom – to help them stand out and earn more money.

“John reworked the entire email series that gets sent to our trial users to make each one entertaining and engaging as well as informative. The results were fantastic. We saw a higher open rate for each email which in turn led to our customers having greater success with the product.” – Giggio

“John Holt is hilariously funny. He’s done some work for me and some Charm Offensive Professional members. He’s infuriatingly good. If you need to add humour to your copy, you should speak to John. Now. NOW!!! I said.” – Jon Buchan, Charm Offensive

“Haha, I couldn’t stop crying of laughter when I read the rewrite John had made of my presentation! John is one of the most hilarious people I’ve ever had the pleasure of working with! He can take the most dry and dull presentation and transform it into a humorous and engaging one that just keeps your audience hooked and engaged. He’s kind of like a ninja. A truly unique and amazing skill. John, thanks for making me look cooler and more fun than I actually am ;-)” – Anders Nielsen

Not only do you get the book, with all the ready-to-go ideas, but I’m also going to include a video* where I take you, probably by the hand, through the entire book, idea by idea, explaining:

1. How you (yes, YOU!) can use the ideas and tweak them best to suit you.

2. How to use the same idea in different media to ensure MAXIMUM IMPACT!

3. Extensions and refinements to the ideas in the book so you can bleed every idea for all it’s worth.

4. The power of REPURPOSING – or “how to turn one gag into many different gags, without having to do loads of extra work!”

* Did you make an “Ooooh, I wonder if it’s ‘Avatar’…” gag here? I thought so.

“OK, so what’s actually IN the book?”

Good question.

It’s 33 ideas you can put to use STRAIGHT AWAY to funny up your:

  • Speeches
  • Presentation
  • Webinars
  • Networking pitches
  • Web copy
  • Business cards
  • Emails
  • Slogans/Taglines
  • “About Us” page

…and many more!

REMEMBER – almost all of these ideas can easily be adapted to suit other formats and media, so it’s not just a “one and done” approach.

For example, in the book, I have an idea for coming up with a funny tagline. You might use this and think, “Hang on, not only is this a great tagline…it’s the perfect way to open my 60 second pitch!

If you want to have a sneaky peek of the contents, you’ll like this bit. In the book, you’ll learn:

* How Neil Armstrong can help you sell sneakers (or whatever it is you’re selling)…

* How you can put your kids to work to create you some shareable content (it’s about time they started pulling their weight!)…

* A fun way to get a prospect to read through your home page 3 (yes, you heard) times…

* A nice and easy to way to make even the most bland, uninteresting and legal parts of your business fun and interesting…

* A quick and easy way of coming up with tagline ideas for your next 60 second pitch…

* How a card game can add the fun factor to that “About page” you’re constantly tweaking…

* How one free website can be used to help you AUTOMATICALLY create a fun storyboard of your business…

* How you can turn every web developers nightmare into a strength…

* How to lie and deceive your readers to get them to read your testimonials (it’s not as bad as I made it sound) – and have them love you for it…

* How an idea I’ve stolen from the Sat Nav world can help make your website fun!

* Why you shouldn’t throw those old, corny joke books away!

* A fun way to create a loyalty card that your customers will love (as well as a cheeky psychological trick to get them to keep it safe!)…

* How to write Tim Vine style puns and WHEN to use them…

…and much more!

OK, how much?

If you wanted me to come round to your house and write jokes with you, it would cost at least a whopping £262.97 (not including biscuits).

Believe me, you don’t want that (have you ever seen me eat biscuits?). You don’t NEED me to come over. You just need this book.

This book gives you quick and easy comedy ideas you can use straight away to inject some humour into your business.

No need to sweat, staring at the white page of death, creating jokes – I’VE DONE ALL THE HARD WORK FOR YOU!

Just fill in the gaps, tweak it to suit you and off you go!

Usually this would retail at [insert an intentionally high price that makes your socks fly off here]

But I’m not going to sell it for that. [Moment of slight relief as you’re still non the wiser, but at least now you can start looking for your socks]

I’m not even going to sell it for [insert “still reasonably pricey, but at least he’s heading in the right directon” price here]…

…or even [“keep going…”]

…or EVEN [“he put that one in capitals, so we must be nearly there…”]

I’m going to sell it for £32.

If you order the book now for £32, you’ll get the book AND the exclusive video of me taking you through all the ideas, step-by-step, explaining each in much more detail, giving you even more ways to use them.

seal trans

I’m not going to be one of those dodgy chaps on the net who lie about having only a limited stock of ebooks.

If I had any sense, I would be, but I don’t.

Lucky you. 🙂

Get IMMEDIATE Access to the Funny Is Money PDF 

AND OVER 100 minutes of video explanation NOW

for ONLY £32

If you’re reading this, you’ve been far to eager with your scrolling finger. I applaud your enthusiasm. Still, be a love and go back up and click the green button would you?