What could you do in 936 seconds?

936 seconds – just over 15 and a half minutes.

That’s how much time I’ve wasted this past year.

Specifically, it’s how much time I’ve wasted on the tiniest of teeny-tiny tasks – putting on my heart rate monitor.

It’s SUPER annoying because the instructions CLEARLY say:

“Attach the unit to the strap with the brand name facing UP.”

Being the good boy I am, I’ve followed this instruction faithfully – for the past 300-odd days – spending an extra three seconds squinting my eyes every morning, as I hold the damn thing up to the light, finding the correct orientation…

On day 313 I got curious and a bold thought flashed across my mind:

“I wonder what would happen if I did it upside down?”

So I plucked up the courage…

I still remember how I felt. My hands were shaking with anticipation as I reached for the strap…

My entire body was vibrating. My brain was screaming “What the hell are you doing???? Brand name UP…UPPPPP!!!!”

It “clicked!” into place and I slid on the strap…

325 BPM!!!!!

… is what it felt like my heart was beating.

Then, 4,000 gazillion years later (at least it seemed that long), two digits pulsed on the screen:


Bloody hell – it worked!

And it’s worked every day since then.

Now, instead of wasting three seconds every day, making sure it’s the right way up…

I’m wasting three seconds every day, making sure it’s the wrong way up…

Just to spite the damn thing.

Here’s the all-important, deep and meaningful marketing lesson you need to take away from this…

I’m an imbecile – a petty-minded imbecile…

If you don’t believe me, ask FIRSTNAME. Seriously. Shoot them an email at EMAIL and ask.

They’ll back me up.


P.S. OK, here’s the REAL lesson…

If you use a story in your email, try and help your subscriber EXPERIENCE it for themselves.

Show, don’t tell.

For example, want your reader to feel the same hand shaking, body vibrating, 325 BPM excitement as you?

Easy. Toss in a line using the *NAME* and *EMAIL* liquid fields.

That’ll get their heart pounding.