Do you have a podcast?

I’m not even going to try and conceal this from you…

I’m EXCESSIVELY excited about my new microphone.

It’s vivid red, glows an even vivid-er red when it’s “LIVE”, and has a rubber top you can tap to mute/unmute yourself and turn the light off/on.

(I *may* have spent 47 minutes in total darkness tapping the button, pretending I was being pursued by half a Police car…)

My next sentence is short but it’s pulling double duty – explaining both why I bought a new mic AND why you should give any number of hoots.

I want to be a guest on your podcast.

I’ve set myself a stupidly high goal, part of which involves putting more of me out in the world* and guesting on podcasts doesn’t seem like a totally foolish way of doing that.

* Not physically, you understand. I mean in a “boost my profile”-y kinda way.

Basically, I’m looking to whire* myself out as much as possible so we can chat about anything your audience might find interesting.

* Not a typo, but a portmanteau I invented. (I’ll let you guess)

In a few seconds, I’m going to audaciously ask you to hit reply so I can be an awesome guest on your podcast, so…

Why don’t I help you discern if I’m airtime-worthy by giving you a list of some of my noteworthy escapades…

(“Yay – a short list”)

… along with some topics I can reckon I can talk about for longer than three minutes without sounding like a total doofus…

(“Thank god – a SHORTER list”)

We could talk about:

– How I went from full-time magician to landing three heavyweight copywriting clients despite having NO experience, NO connections and a Covid inspired “WHEN DOES THE BARBERS OPEN AGAIN?” haircut

– The time I won a stand-up comedy competition on only my third ever gig!

– Surviving as a freelancer without resorting to drugs, alcohol, or colossal carbohydrates consumption

– How to use humour in your emails (especially when you think you’re not funny)

– Ever wondered what the easiest way for an 8-year-old to set their leg on fire is? Wonder no more because I HAVE THE ANSWER!!! (and the four-inch thigh burn to prove it)

– Croupier, social worker, timeshare salesman, private detective, supermarket cashier, radio presenter, and accountant… I’ve done all of those jobs – EXCEPT ONE! But which one… (and how a chequered CV can be your best advantage when you know how!)

– Pivoting to a brand new career as a freelancer and starting from scratch!

PLUS – simple copywriting and comedy wins for business owners who want to stand out from their competition… without getting bogged down in “wordy” stuff.

(I should probably have put that one higher up the list. Ah well, that’s the price you pay for drafting emails on stone tablets…)

TL;DR: If you’re looking for a podcast guest, I’m available.

If you think I’d be a good fit for your rabble, hit reply and let’s make it happen.

John