Vibrator in the rectum

Occasionally the email God (I call her Tabitha Curbishley) smiles upon you.

And then sometimes, she even smiles on you… gives you a neck massage… puts your shopping away… AND cooks you a full English breakfast…

As soon as I saw “Episode 1: vibrator in the rectum”, I looked at my router, bowed my head, and said a quiet “thank you”.

Me and the missus were on the hunt for a new show to binge. 

While flicking through Discovery + (that’s how bad things have got), we landed on “Stuck” – a medical documentary featuring stories of people with foreign objects stuck in some of your favourite orifices.

Clearly, they were front-loading* the first episode with the more shocking jammed accidents. And “Vibrator in the rectum” certainly delivered.

* Why does the term “front-loading” make me cross my legs?)

Between the looks of:

and 

There was one thing that stuck stood out…

The bold, unapologetic patient.

I’ve no idea how people go on these shows proudly parading their unmentionables to millions of viewers.

But I really admire it.

In the case of “VITR” (I can’t keep typing “rectum”… I just can’t), I admired how open the lady w… actually let me rephrase that…

I admired her honesty regarding her actions that culminated in her requiring medical assistance:

“I thought I’d draw myself a bath, put it up there and have myself a good time”.

I think she even did a little “yay” dance to accentuate the “good time” part. 

It takes a lot of balls to admit that on international television.

Will she get judged by other people? Definitely.

Might folks give her a second look if they spot her in Aldi buying a large Toblerone?

Probably.

But here’s the thing…

You don’t have to do something crazy for people to judge you.

We do it all the damn time.

People will call you “pushy” just because you included a call to action for your offer…

Folks will label you “rude” because you don’t reply to their email within 12 seconds…

Potential life partners will brand you “a bit of a weirdo” just because you show them the 19,243 photos you have of them sleeping… on your first date.

The biggest mistake you can make is to hold back through fear of being judged.*

* I should probably add an “obviously there are exceptions to this” caveat here.

When it comes to your marketing, bold and unapologetic is the way to go.

You’ve got to channel your inner “lady with a Fisher-Price Rock-A-Stack inside her rectum”.

For example:

– Looking for some inspiration to help you write your next email? Check out the FREE year’s worth of email prompts waiting for you inside your GOOGLE DRIVE OF AWESOMENESS!!!!

– Want a simple approach to writing better medical insertion-based emails? Click here to check out “Sent.”

– REALLY curious about the vibrator thing and want to witness the horror for yourself? Here you go matey.

By all means, be clear in qualifying who your “thing” is a good fit for…

(Honestly, I’m really NOT trying to come up with innuendos…)

Butt once you’ve done that, go all in.

(OK… I WAS trying then)