This email got a 90% open rate… and I’m pissed.

Looking at elaborate charts and graphs in email software makes me want to stab my eyeballs.

I do it though… presumably for the same reason people clean the toilets after Glastonbury… 

Because someone pays me to.

Graphs are lovely an’ all (and my mum would definitely go “ooooooh!” looking at all the snazzy colours), but I’m only really after one figure – SALEZZZZZ!

I want to be able to look at an email and see how many rupees it rained down on my bank account.

Only if things have gone a little bit kaka do I dive deeper… examining clicks, opens, and infrared, sonar-powered heatmaps*, pretending I know what I’m doing looking for the problem.

* I’m pretty sure I made that one up.

If I was being polite, I’d refer to my system as “laissez-faire”, but truthfully it’s more “fairly lazy”.

I’m not recommending this approach. It’s definitely a luxury that comes with the “having two clients paying me a monthly retainer so I don’t need to worry too much about how many courses I shift” kinda problem…

Despite my aversion to stats though, there is one I’ve been thinking about recently…

An email I sent which had a 91% open rate.

91% is pretty good, but I was pissed.

It should’ve been 100%. And that’s not even my ego screaming, “that email was so damn good I demand everyone open it”.

Everyone SHOULD have opened it. 

After all, they PAID me to send it.

It was the email you get when you sign up for my Endless Emails program course thing – the one with all the links.

Why would you pay for something and not even open the damn email?

Maybe their Lotto numbers came up after hitting my lovely green “Buy” button? 

If that’s the case, they’re probably too busy Googling remedies for the paper cuts they got from swimming in all that cash to worry about email ideas.

Or maybe… a can of soup fell on their head, causing amnesia, so they can’t remember buying the damn thing in the first place?

Perhaps it was a can of tomatoes?

The possibilities – and cans – are almost as infinite as the number of ideas Endless Emails helps you create.

(I give that plug a “shameless” rating of 9.)

Or maybe… something else happened. 

Something you may relate to…

Clicking the “Buy” button makes you feel like you’ve solved the problem.

This is why upsells work so well.

You grab a $7 offer that promises to take you from couch potato to trim and toned Dad. Then the upsell hits you…

“Now you’re trim and toned, here’s what you’ll be needing next – RIPPLING ABS! Pick up my AWESOME ABS AND OSTENTATIOUS OBLIQUES system now…”

And you think, “Yeah, now I’ve solved my tubby couch potato problem, I’d love a set of abs like that… I’m in!”

Now you’re hit with another offer…

“Now you’re trim and toned, and your abs are so rock-solid local blacksmiths are using them as an anvil to forge steel… It’s time to show ‘em off to the world. Here’s how you’ll rock your first bodybuilding competition…”

In the space of 3 clicks you’ve gone from couch potato to “Susan… oil me up!”

Your sedentary alert on your Fitbit buzzes you back to reality.

Clicking buy doesn’t solve the problem. It only solves the first part of the problem, the…

What’s the first action I can take to achieve this goal?

… part of the problem.

If people don’t engage with your course, by all means look to see if there’s anything you can do to make it easier or more actionable.

Maybe an email sequence would help boost engagement?

How about a friendly “How are you getting on?” nudge?

Don’t forget, this isn’t just your program. Online course completion rates are about 1.6%* for everyone.

* I made that up. I did sign up for a statistical analysis class on Udemy… but never made it to the “percentages” module.

You can’t solve your audience’s problems for them. All you can do is make it as easy as possible.

I’d come up with a great analogy for that, but I’ve got to head out. My horse needs a drink.

John