This could be the most useful email you read today. And I’m not even joking.
If you’re the kind of person who gets embarrassed easily, I’m about to give you one hell of a life hack.
Again… not joking.
It’s a magical five-word sentence you can store in your brain, ready to deploy whenever you need to explain any weird and wonderful blush-inducing behaviour.
And if you’ve ever wished you could explain away an embarrassing purchase, you’re going to love me in about 15 seconds.
Armed with this simple phrase, you could stroll into Sainsbury’s tomorrow, approach the gorgeous assistant you’ve been ogling for three years, and confidently ask them to point you to the adult nappies and industrial-strength laxatives section without a care in the world,
Want to know the magic words?
Here they are:
“It’s OK, I’m a magician…”.
I can’t tell you how many times this “get out of jail free card” has helped me with all manner of embarrassing purchases.
And when I say “get out of jail free card”, I’m mean that almost literally…
Before I had enough magic gigs to go full-time performing monkey, I used to do farm work.
This required getting up at stupid o’clock, but it gave me weekends free to do card tricks, so I was happy(ish) with the trade off.
One morning, at 4:03 AM, I was driving to work and was pulled over by armed police. And this wasn’t a gentle “excuse me sir, would you mind pulling over at the earliest opportunity?” type of pulling over.
No. They did the full “race past and turn into a skid in front of me, blocking any escape” thing you see on Magnum P.I.
“Fuck. I knew I should’ve paid those library fines….”
Two armed officers approached my car. And while they weren’t pointing their guns directly at me, they didn’t appear to be in a relaxed and chatty mood either.
I made a mental note to downgrade the enthusiasm on my usually chipper “Morning!” greeting.
If I’m being honest, things didn’t start well. Not that I had high hopes for a relationship that begins with the words “throw your keys out the window and put your hands on the wheel”.
(Dogging club taught me that)
I’d love to tell you things got better from that point, but I’d be lying.
You see, to give myself a dose of happy energy in the morning, I’d taken to blasting out cheesy pop music while travelling to work. And, at this present moment, all I could hear was the deafening sound of “Moves like Jagger” by Maroon 5 pounding through my speakers.
I wanted to move my hand to turn it down, but this clashed with my life’s ambition of “not pissing off someone who is legally allowed to shoot me”. Fortunately, they requested I turn it down. I did, keeping any “not a fan of Adam Levine, eh?” quips to myself.
The two officers asked me a few questions (apparently a local hotel had just been robbed) and, as they did, I noticed one of them getting increasingly agitated.
I didn’t twig straight away, but then it occurred to me…
His agitation might have been caused by the white rope, blindfold, three rolls of gaffa tape, and handcuffs presently lying on my back seat.
It must’ve looked like a kidnapper’s starter kit.
“It’s OK, I’m a magician…”
“Oh right…”, he said, stepping back and easing his grip on his Holt Brain Splatterer 3000.
And it never came up again. I swear. He never even looked at my magic props.
In just five words, I’d gone from “Phil… is your taser charged?” to “harmless weirdo”.
And let me tell you, when someone is one finger flex away from blowing your brains out, “harmless weirdo” is the way to go.
A few minutes later, they waved me on my way.
I went on to kidnap 16 people that day…
… would be a great ending to this story. As it is, I went to my farm, spent three hours dodging high-velocity cow turds and freezing my ass off, but at least I ended up with a cool story I could use in an email.
“using stories in your emails” – that sounds like something I could use to transition into trying to convince to you buy “Sent.” – my email writing course for business owners who want to make more sales with email… but don’t want to sound like everyone else or get bogged down in complicated copywriting techniques.
It’s a day-by-day course, delivered by email, so there’s very little overwhelm. Plus, it’s all simple, powerful stuff – ideas I’ve used when writing emails for big-name clients like Jeff Walker, Chris Orzechowski, and the No Pants Project.
You don’t have to be the greatest copywriter on the planet to write emails that sound like you… and get sales.
I know this because I’m not the greatest copywriter on the planet.
Any questions about “Sent.”, just ask.
P.S. Transitioning from the story to the pitch is often the part of the email that makes business owners’ bottoms twitch the most.
It can feel icky asking for the sale… you start wondering if you’ve done enough to earn the right to pitch.
“Did I deliver enough value?”
“Does it feel clumsy?”
If you look back at my transition, you’ll see it was clunky as hell, but here’s the thing…
Do you feel cheated or taken advantage of?
Maybe… possibly… but I’m guessing probably not.
The story was a little entertaining. Maybe it even put a smile on your face.
But I bet you’ve not got a calculator out, trying to figure out if the value percentage correlates to the aggressiveness of the pitch.
I’m not saying you should be as cack-handed as this in every email you write, but…
When you know how to write a good email, it gives you the confidence to promote your offers more often.
And when you promote your offers more often, you’ll make more sales – without getting any of that gooey, icky, slimy sleaze on you.
It probably also means you can write half-assed CTAs too. Let’s test that hypothesis: