“Why does this collage of my wife smell of Lynx Africa?”

When I last counted, there are 17 reasons why I’m going straight to hell as soon as my heart thumps its last thump. 

Let me share one of them, as I’m hoping you can relate…

I don’t know why I’ve been programmed this way, but if I need a good laugh, there’s always one genre of television I can rely on…

Factual – and very earnest – documentaries about weird, non-life-threatening medical conditions.

(You too? Looks like we’re both heading South on departure day)

I still remember falling off my couch listening to the president of the Narcolepsy Association explain why three people were taking minutes of the meeting:

‘Because they keep nodding off and missing stuff…’

And I won’t even describe the state my undergarments were in after watching a man with Alien Hand Syndrome in a supermarket, arguing with his left arm as it persisted in reaching for the wrong brand of coffee:

‘Stop it! You know we don’t like that one.’

I like to think the ten years I spent working in mental health has balanced my psychological karma somewhat and that I’m not a total monster. But I saw something this week that started tipping my kismet scales back the other way…

Apparently, there’s a one-year-old boy in Georgia who’s been diagnosed with “Uncombable Hair Syndrome”.

I shit ye not.

Only 100 people on the planet have been diagnosed with UHS (I’m not typing that out again) – a condition that causes hair to grow “in all directions”.

What I really noticed was the mum’s attitude to her son’s condition. 

When your son’s head resembles a dandelion*, there’s really not much you can do.

* Her words, not mine. Don’t hate me.

If it were my son, I’d be reaching for my clippers and the number 2 attachment.

(Probably gently blowing away the hair on each pass, just to ascertain the correct time)

This mum’s opted opted for a less mentally scaring attitude. 

“Our biggest message is to celebrate what makes you different”, she says. 

When your child is facing a life of perpetual bedhead, this is probably the healthy way to go. In fact, as long as there are no other symptoms to UHS (and you’ll be glad to know I’ve fully explored the entire body of scientific research to verify there isn’t*), you could probably have a bit of fun with the condition.

* Yep, Wikipedia.

– Whenever someone makes a joke that dies on it’s arse at a party, you could move from one side of the room to another, making the tumbleweed sound as you went.

– You could scare the hell out of your friends by acting like you’re being frazzled whenever you touch a light switch.

Do either of those on TikTok and you’d probably have a million followers and a Bang sponsorship deal by lunch.

Celebrating what makes you different is a good start, but what if what makes you different is your ability to recall the inside leg measurement of every Premiership footballer who once wore a Fedora?

Should you celebrate that?

In business, I’d always rather be in a category of one, rather than just another copywriter. 

But the difference has to matter. It has to be something your audience can appreciate. 

‘I’m the only copywriter on the planet who makes a collage of your wife from my recently trimmed underarm hair’ is a fine boast, but hardly one that’s going to command a premium fee. 

A lot of the time, business owners recognise they need to desperate themselves from the pack, but they go too far. 

They don’t just change one thing… they change EVERYTHING – they come up with weird job titles, offer confusing packages, or radically change the way they work. 

Finding what makes you different is like walking across thin ice – you go step by step, treading carefully and try not to make a wrong move that ends in a slow, agonising death. 

One of the easiest moves you can make to stand out from the competition? 

Writing emails that sound like you. 

No more templates. No more fill in the blanks.

Just send me an email that sounds like you wrote it. 

Writing emails like this not only makes you different, it harnesses the power of your #1 business asset – your email list, so you’ll make more sales and attract better clients… just by being more ‘you’.

If you’re looking for an easy place to start standing out in your client’s inboxes, here’s something that might help:

(The discount code ‘COUPONCODE’ is good until midnight on Sunday)

If you have any questions about managing unruly hair, don’t ask me. When I was 13, someone once mistook me for Leo Sayer.

But if you have any about “Sent.”, hit reply and ask.

John