Pestering Plumbers… (AND Copywriter On Call is open!)

Bill Ward, the plumber from Blackpool (yes, THAT Bill Ward) doesn’t know it, but he’s had a big part to play in my new “thing”.

In 2008 I was totally clueless at home improvement stuff (a skill, I hate to say, I have not made an iota of progress in. I only include the date for context)

You name it, I couldn’t fix it.

One afternoon I heard the noise every homeowner dreads:

“Hi honey, I’m home!”



It didn’t take me long to locate the source – the bottom of my boiler.

Despite being a dimwit DIYer, I still realised prodding and poking around in a boiler probably wasn’t a good option, but I also realised something else…

This was probably an easy fix for someone who actually knew what they were doing.

This put me in a bind. On the one hand, I recognise the importance of value-based pricing, but on the other…

… me being tighter than a [INSERT MISERLY STEREOTYPE HERE] didn’t want to fork out for some guy to bend over, expose his arse, turn one lever/button/screw/enchanted unicorn (I have no idea what’s under there), and charge me 100 smackers.

There had to be a better way…

(“better” – adjective – cheaper and easier. Mostly used by tight arsed Lancastrians)

Gotta be honest… the penny-pinching solution I came up with was pretty darn good, even if I do say so myself.

I did two things:

1) I grabbed the Yellow Pages and looked for a tiny “I’m just doing this to grab a free listing” single line plumbers ad that had a home address

2) I waited until 6pm

Here was my thinking…

I figured a single-line ad with a home address would be a one-man operation. Also…

If this “one-man” was at home at 6pm, he’d most likely be having his dinner… and would do anything to get a half-wit off the phone so he could get back to his fish and chips…

Including telling me exactly how to solve my problem.

So I waited until 6, called Bill Ward, and tested out my theory.

It worked.

I have no idea if he was having his dinner or not, but I could tell he wasn’t keen on coming to look at my boiler so I blurted out my problem before he had a chance to hang up. 

Turns out I was right about the simple fix because he told me, in steps simple enough even I could understand, how to stop the drip… drip… drip.

(I won’t bore you with what was wrong. Suffice to say I ALWAYS have at least TWO radiator bleeding keys in the house and I know EXACTLY where they are)

There’s probably a deeper lesson here than “save money on expensive repairs by hassling local plumbers while they’re having their dinner”, but…

Here’s why I’m telling you this…

I was thinking about this recently when figuring out how to help business owners sell more stuff.

What if you didn’t need to call out an expensive copywriter to come all the way over to your Google Doc, look at your copy, and get his hands dirty while he fixed it for you?

What if you knew your marketing could be better, but you also can’t be arsed to put in the hours to learn how to do it yourself?

What if you just wanted someone you can trust to tell you exactly what you needed to do to make it better?

You need a Bill Ward.


I’m opening up a limited number of spaces for “Copywriter On Call” – your chance to have me look over your words and show you how to make them better – and more profitable – so you can make more sales…

… and I can get back to my dinner.

It’s a series of 10 weekly group Zoom calls where I’ll critique your copy and answer your questions. You’ll also get access to a private FB group, so you can ask your questions (and maybe get them answered) without having to wait for the call.

Not only that, but you’ll also get access to ALL the call recordings, so you can learn from other group members AND have your copy critiqued… even if you can’t make it to the live call.

You give me your words and I’ll show you how to make them betterer.

(“betterer” –  nonsensical adjective – cheaperer and easierer. Mostly used by stupid ass Lancastrian copywriters)

If you’ve seen my earlier emails, I’m building out the sales page bit by bit… filming it as I go, in case it’s helpful when building your own sales pages.

If you’re interested in having me as your own personal copywriter on call for 10 weeks, you can find more details (and a lovely green button) here:

Because I’m wanting it to be as interactive as possible, I’m going to be limiting the number of places to 15… and two of those have already been snapped up.

As usual, if you’ve got any questions about whether this would be a good fit for you, hit reply and let me know.


P.S. There’s another benefit behind the “pester the hell outta Bill Ward” idea you might have missed.

I kinda hinted at it above, but it might have slipped you by.

It’s another benefit you’ll get if you decide to join “Copywriter On Call”

If you think you spotted it, hit reply and let me know.

If you didn’t, don’t worry… it’s subtle.

I’ll tell you about it in a few days…

P.P.S. I swear to god… If you call me at 6pm with a copy problem, I’m going to take BOTH my radiator bleeding keys…