See you in 349 days…

I’m not one to boast, but I once went over 4 years without having a kebab.

How did I do it?

Jocko-like willpower?
Found guilty of recklessly operating a canal barge and sent to a prison that didn’t dish up donners?

Nothing like that.

It was actually real simple.

Not only that, it was EASY too.

Here’s my secret kebab giving up technique FINALLY revealed…

On the way back from a stand-up gig, at about 2 am, I popped my head into a takeaway that was closing up:

“Any chance of a kebab?” I asked.

“Er… yeah.”, said the young lad behind the counter, scanning the room, desperately looking for anything that resembled “meat”.

“I can probably find you something.”

That should’ve been all the clues I needed.

Two days later and my physical wellness has hit a blip and I’m suffering from some form of malady.

(That’s right, BOTH ends)

While I was sitting there, it was the world’s easiest “join the dots” puzzle to figure why I was so ill.

The kebab.

I was thinking about this recently as I started noticing another problem flaring up…


I’m caring a little too much about what other people think…

“Am I better than that guy… or worse?”

“What do I need to do to get ahead of her?”

I don’t like this.

Thoughts like this rob me of mental energy that I could be using to do other stuff, like focusing on my work, creating new products, or conjuring up amusing third items in sentences.

I don’t have masses of mental energy to spare anyway, so I’ll be damned if I’m gonna waste all my good stuff wondering what other people are doing

When I look back at the cause of my comparisonitis, like the kebab, it’s easy to pinpoint the sauce, sorry… source of my trouble:


I need to bail.

Why am I telling you?

Because as someone who took the time to say “Yes! I want to hear from you”, you’re one of my biggest priorities…

… along with my wife, kids, and my fantastic new Xbox 1 that is my blessed escape from my meaningles…

(I cut the next 17 paragraphs and forwarded them to John’s doctor to save space – Ed)

There will be no needy “I’m leaving FB for a bit, but rather than just leave, I wanted to make one final post that I’ll probably come back and check on every five minutes for the next few days…” post.

I just wanted to let you know that if you need me, I’m here…

… and not THERE.

I’ll still be emailing when I think of things you might find vaguely useful.

Actually, that reminds me…

Keep an eye on your inbox over the next few days, as I’m going to drop something new into the GOOGLE DRIVE OF AWESOMENESS!!!!

Have a cracker of a Sunday!


P.S. Speaking of “vaguely useful things”…

I recorded another episode of “I CAN change the title later, right?” yesterday.

You might have missed it – 99.99999% of the world’s population did.

(Bloody FB reach!)

If you ever find yourself running out of content, you’ll want to give it a watch, as I give you a few tips to make ideas flow like a…

(Yeah… I cut this bit too. Trust me, it’s for the best – Ed).

Here’s a link to the video: