Overstimulating Ellen DeGeneres

Admitting this to you is a little bit uncomfortable, but here goes…

We eat our dinner in front of the TV.

I know, I know. TV dinners are bad.

I’m the worst human being walking the planet.

I can almost hear the “holier than thou” FB brigade…

“You should have your dinners at the table… away from devices, the internet, and, most importantly, Jeremy Clarkson. You gotta be present with your kids and your family like I am with my wife…er, what’s her name… DIANE! That’s it…”

I agree with all that (especially the “Jeremy Clarkson” bit”), but…

… we STILL eat our dinners, plonked on the couch, while laughing at something on Disney Plus.

(My plea of “how about we try that Peter Sutcliffe documentary tonight?” is always ignored)

Before you call Childline though, let me share how my appalling parenting can help you up your email game.

You see, we never watch the entire movie in one go.

Instead, once we’ve finished our dinner, and relaxed for a bit, we pause the film, so we can pick it up the next night.

Depending on how ravenous we are, and what else we’ve got going on, it sometimes takes us a week to get through one movie.

The thing is, if we tried to find a time when all four of us could sit down to enjoy an entire film, we’d struggle.

Our youngest is at school during the day and enjoys catching up with her friends in the evening. Our eldest is at college, but, being almost 18, has her own stuff she wants to do.

Then you have me, a guy who works for a company based in the US, so I’m often working in the evening.

The great thing is, we don’t have to coordinate a two-hour block to sit down as a family and enjoy a movie.

We can do it one section at a time.

It’s the same with writing an email… or a blog post… or a sales page.

You don’t have to go from blank page to “done” in one go.

There ain’t no medals for that, so relax.

(a rare photo of Ellen DeGeneres receiving a medal for writing an entire abandoned cart sequence in one afternoon. It was later discovered that her maid had bought extra-strength Espresso instead of decaff that week and was promptly fired)

If you find the idea of sitting at your laptop for 30 minutes intimidating…

… don’t spend 30 minutes writing!

Sit down for 5 minutes… 10 minutes, or whatever you ARE comfortable with.

No one cares how long it takes you to write an email.

They only care about how it can help make their life better.

So you might as well go easy on yourself and break it up a little.

If it makes you feel any better, even though people pay me good money to write emails for them…

… I started writing THIS email in 1987 and have only NOW pushed send.

Feel better?

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to drop off my VHS of “Three Men and a Baby” at my local Blockbuster before I head off to my radical breakdancing class.

Cowabunga dudes!


P.S. If you’re looking for a solution to the “oh my god, why is it so hard to sit down and write anything about my business?” problem…

… hit reply with “yes”, and I’ll add you to a special list.

You see, in the next few weeks… I might just have the perfect solution to your problem.