The raccoons made me email you… or DID they?

Hey secksypants,

There are a few possible reasons for why I’m landing in your inbox today.

Let’s see if you can guess the right one…

You see, I COULD be emailing you because:

It’s Thursday… and I pretty much always send you an email on Thursdays.

I’ve got a complex audience monitoring system (probably involving gymnastic raccoons) that calculates the optimum time a copywriter from the UK should send you an email, and… THAT TIME IS NOW!

I’m trying to avoid tidying the lounge.

I want to stay “top of mind”, in case you ever need someone to write anything for you.

I remembered that I haven’t reminded you of how I can help you earn more money for a while.

I read a marketing book that said that, in today’s online world, you need 8,253,253 points of contact before even lovely email readers like you develop trust, so am using this to get my numbers up.

I recently landed a new gig and part of the exclusivity agreement I signed means that solo projects like this are strictly a “no go”, so this is the last goodbye. 🙁

I’m terribly insecure and worry that you’ll find a better smelling copywriter if I don’t stay in touch (LOVE ME DAMMIT!)


… I just want to wish you a “Happy Christmas!” and thank you for being part of my email-only club.

Whether you’ve been here years, or 17 seconds, I’m thankful you clicked the “oh, go on then” button and stuck around.

I hope you’ve found something of use while you’ve been here, whether it was a nugget hidden in one of the three useful emails I sent you in 2020, an email prompt that took your fancy in the GOOGLE DRIVE OF AWESOMENESS!!!!, or one of the “48 Hour” cold email templates that have now vanished.

You see, there are a ton of business-related reasons for sending you an email today…

… but sometimes, it’s nice to write and say “thanks for being here” and to wish you and yours all the best for the holidays!


P.S. While you’re working out the REAL reason…

ICYMI – I teach everything I know about cold pitching in this video.

I talk about what’s worked for me, what hasn’t, what I’ve learned, and my plan for pitching clients in 2021.

If that’s something you think you might find useful, you can watch it – for NAFF ALL – right here. 

Consider it an early, shoddily wrapped, Christmas present.