… and then I shat myself

First things first…


Second things second…

… I owe you an apology.

I’m not sure why this happens, but it seems that every time I make a major promise to myself – or you – the universe conspires against it and forces me to break it.

Don’t believe me? Let me explain…

As the constable said when I was found outside Anthea Turner’s house naked, holding 3 tubs of creosote…

“Let’s take a look at the evidence, shall we?”

First, in January, I went on a month-long social media fast, as prescribed by Cal Newport in his book, Digital Minimalism.

After a week, I lost TWO major, regular magic gigs, promptly shat myself and came running straight back to the scrolling news feed of doom.

Then, in March, when I’d cleaned myself up a little, I tried the same thing again. 

Clearly, I hadn’t learned my lesson, as COVIDIOUS MAXIMUS hit and I lost EVERY SINGLE BLOODY gig in my diary, shat myself and came running back.

Then, after a complete change in career (and trousers), I promised you daily emails – a promise I managed to keep…

… for two weeks, before I landed a full-time copywriting gig and realised that I needed to put all my focus there, in the vain hope that they don’t realise what a silly decision they made.

(I probably shat myself then too, though my journal entries are a tad sketchy)

THEN – last week – when I’d got settled in the role and thought I’d got it all sussed, I again made the promise of a daily email…

… only to get a kind of promotion that demands more time.

Lessons learned?

Good of you to ask.

Let’s start with the obvious – I shat myself a lot. Should probably work on that by clenching or something.

Next, daily email WORKS! 

You can’t doubt the evidence – every time I’ve set about sending a daily email, my life has improved DRAMATICALLY – both financially and wellbeingly.

(Yeah, I know that’s not a word, but what do I look like – a copywriter?)

No matter what has happened though, I’ve always levelled with you.

I’m always completely open about what I’m doing because, and this is gonna sound a little needy, this thing we have here is a relationship.

OK, so we might not be at the “come round and use my jacuzzi” stage yet, but it still counts.

It matters.

When someone opts in to hear from you, they’re making an investment. Granted, it’s not a massive one, but it’s an investment nonetheless.

From the moment they click the “subscribe” button, you’ve got a duty to look after them.

You don’t do that by ignoring them for 6 months and then blasting their inboxes with “BUY THIS” type emails.

 We do it by being consistent.

Too often, we’re afraid to change things up through fear of being tarred with the “inconsistent” brush.

You don’t tick the consistency box by emailing every Tuesday… at 10:13… using Verdana font… while wearing Speedos.

You’re consistent when your subscribers feel like they have a good solid grip on you.

(which is, incidentally, exactly what I was doing outside Anthea Turner’s window)

Anyway, this is my way of saying that I won’t be emailing 5x a week.

You’ll still get the Monday prompts, but, other than that, we’ll see how things go.

I’m OK with that. If you’re not, sorry.

Anyway, enough about me…

What’s up with you?