They sent a guy to kill me… this is what I learned

“Cracked him…”

“Putting on a big pot…”

“Sweaty boy hit me for 70…”

Be honest… Do you have any idea what I’m on about?

Unless you’re 11 (unlikely) or the parent of an 11 year old (slightly more likely), the answer’s probably “no”.

I’ve written about my weird fondness for watching Fortnite videos before.

I’m watching one right now while writing this. 

(5AM is a bit too quiet for my liking – it needs the kind of ambience that you only get by watching random people on the internet kill other random people on the internet)

It’s scary how much I’m fascinated by Fortnite. 

If Fortnite were a person, I’d have 13 injunctions against my name and compelled to don shorts on account of all the tags Judges would have forced me to wear.

What appeals to me most is the speed of the game. 

These games are FAST. 

I don’t know, maybe the speed lights up the ADHD part of my brain, flooding the rest of it with dopamine.

“Keep watching Fortnite, John… Fortnite is gooood. We like it…”

The squad games are even better. When you’re part of a team, not only do you have to keep up with the game, you have to talk to three other players, to let them know what the hell’s going on.

If your squad’s low on health – with no shield – entering “Frenzy Farm” and you spot an enemy with a heavy snipe in a bush, you don’t have time to say:

“Excuse me chaps, I’m terribly sorry to interrupt, but I’ve just noticed the darndest thing… there appears to be a member of one of the opposing teams targeting us with a very powerful long-range weapon in the foliage over there…”

You’d get three syllables of that out before they’d be cleaning up your pixelated brains off the field.

“Heavy snipe, north” is all you need.

Every crowd has its own lingo.

(Dammit! If I scored any street-cred from talking about Fortnite, I sure as hell lost it using the word “lingo”… and probably “street-cred”)

If there’s a better way to guarantee your message won’t be heard than using the wrong language, I’d like to see it.

Say it fast… 

Say it slow… 

Say it in a Scouse accent

Say it super aggressively…

It doesn’t matter how you say it… utter “Heavy Sniper North” to a Fortnite player and they’ll instantly know what you mean…

… and, more importantly for us as marketers… they’ll act on it.