Want to work together?

Due to the recent storm, my local community hall is flooded. This means that my “Release your inner Supervillain using Phrenology and testicle reading techniques (advanced)” class has had to be postponed.

(I’m particularly gutted as this week was “Evil laugh week”, and, I have to be honest… mine needs a bit of work)

Long story short, I find myself with a bit of extra time on my hands.

Sure, I could spend more time with the family, doing wholesome activities, such as watching videos on YouTube, watching videos on Netflix or watching videos on Prime.

I could do that, or…

…I could do more copywriting work and help people make more money!

Hee hee!

(I told you it needed work)

So, if you’ve been sat there thinking, “you know? I really wish a middle-aged copywriter from Cheshire had some time to help me generate more sales”

…you’re in luck.

Maybe you’re a business owner presently sat on a widget (not literally sat on it… unless it’s THAT kind of widget), desperately in need of a sales page that will generate you some extra cash without you having to do any extra work…

Maybe you’ve got an awesome lead magnet that your clients are enjoying, but you want to turn them into raving fans and tap into that “know, like and trust” factor people are always banging on about.

Maybe it’s a FB ad… or a landing page… or a note to your milkman that you’ve been working on for 3 months.


You have something though.

Something awesome.

And you want to sell more of it, but you don’t want to be sleazy or salesy about it.

I can help you create copy that is persuasive, fun and entertaining to read – the kind of stuff that makes them smile…

…and hand over their money. 🙂

“Haha, I couldn’t stop crying of laughter when I read the rewrite John had made of my presentation! John is one of the most hilarious people I’ve ever had the pleasure of working with! He can take the driest and dull presentation and transform it into a humorous and engaging one that just keeps your audience hooked and engaged.”

“John reworked the entire email series that gets sent to our trial users to make each one entertaining and engaging as well as informative. The results were fantastic. We saw a higher open rate for each email which in turn led to our customers having greater success with the product.”

Great copy is like hiring the world’s most productive salesman.

It’s ALWAYS working for you.

Yes, even when customers visit your website at 3 am, your sales page will be there doing its thing – converting customers and earning you money.

Great copy is loyal too.

It doesn’t sneak off to the loo 18 times every hour and it won’t nick pens from the stationery closet.

Just put it where you need it to be and it’ll stay there, working it’s magic until you tell it to stop.

Great copy makes you more money and frees you up to do other fun things.

Great copy makes your life easier.

If sounds like something you want, send me a message and let’s talk.

I know all good marketers try to add a sense of urgency to promotions to boost interest, so here’s my stab:

I only have 2 spots available.

How was that? Could you feel the urgency? Could you sense the FOMO? Did your buttocks clench?

“This all sounds lovely. How much?”

I like your moxie.

How much would you pay for the world’s greatest salesman to work for you 24 hours a day., 7 days a week, 365 days a year?

A lot, right?

If you’re after a high converting sales page – one that you can use to generate more sales without you having to do any “selling”, the price is £1,500.

If you’re after an email sequence to build an army of adoring fans who know, like and trust you, the price is £800.

Want a high converting sales page AND an army of adoring fans? You can save £300 by getting both for £2,000.

TL;DR – you want more sales. I have words. We should talk.